Barely Legal

In light of recent events, I think it's finally time to do that post we've been mentioning for ages - i.e. how to become legal in Thailand. Warning: this isn't meant to be entertaining! Skip this one if you prefer the anecdotes. This is just meant to help clarify the process to those who have found our intermittent updates confusing.

[Sidebar from A: And if our blog ever becomes famous then maybe people living and/or working in Thailand can use this as the guide that we never had (unless everything changes in a year, which it probably will).]

1. The Tourist Visa. 
 - You can technically just enter Thailand by air and get a free 30 days in the country, but that's typically not long enough to leave enough time for finding a job and getting the paperwork done for your new visa. In reality, it's smarter to apply in your home country for a 2 month tourist visa. Luckily, one of 3 Thai embassies in the US is located in LA (the others are Washington D.C. and Chicago), so that's where we got ours.

 Time commitment: Next day processing.
 Cost: $40 (1192 b)
  
2. Non-immigrant B Visa Paperwork.
- After securing a stable and well-paying job (this part was a breeeeeeeeeze, of course), your respectable business should get a start on your non-immigrant B visa paperwork. Honestly, I have no idea what it entails, but it all seems very complicated and, to my understanding, often falsified. The whole process takes anywhere from a week to months, and you just kind of have to hope it's happening and being done for you. The paperwork has to be dated for the day you plan to get your visa and addressed to the embassy you're planning to visit (in our case, Vientiane, Laos). After receiving this, you need a couple hundred photos (okay, like 6) and several copies of everything you have that proves you're human and American and a graduate of some sort of school.

Time commitment: Anywhere from 1 week to...months. 
Cost: None, unless you have to bribe someone to do it all faster.  

3. Trip to Laos.
- Unless you're really good at navigating the Thai/Lao bus system and want to save about 200 baht, it's best to stop in at any number of small tour agencies and book a "VIP bus" to Laos (see previous posts about Laos, where this experience was described in painful detail). You'll need to also buy a Lao visa upon entry (good for 30 days, but only used for 2, typs). The first day, you submit your paperwork and hope that your school didn't forget anything, in which case you would have to go all the way back to Thailand and start again (whiiich happened to the guy in front of us). You pick it up the next afternoon and head back to Thailand. 

Time commitment: 2 days/3 nights (not including the day of your return, which is lost due to sleep deprivation)
Cost: Bus (1900b) + Lao visa ($35/1043b) + hotel (500b) = 3443

4. Non-Immigrant B Visa.
- You can choose between a single entry and multiple entry visa. Before going through the process, it was almost impossible to know which one we were supposed to get. So we guessed, went for the cheaper one, and hoped fervently that we weren't wrong and wouldn't have to return to Laos. As it turns out (we think) they end up having the same cost/effect, but with drastically different mechanisms of operation. With a single entry visa, after entering Thailand from Laos you have 90 days to complete your paperwork or you must leave, and your visa will be cancelled. After getting your work permit, your single-entry visa can then be extended to a full year. However, leaving the country at this point will void both your visa and work permit, so you have to get a re-entry permit (see below). With a multiple entry visa, upon entering Thailand you again have 90 days to figure out your paperwork. However, if you leave the country during this time, you may do so and then return without cancelling the visa. You can do this 3 times, which essentially makes this a year-long visa wherin you must leave the country every 90 days. 

Time commitment: Next day processing.
Cost: Single entry (2000b) or Multiple entry (5000b)

4a. Visa Pages.
- At this point, becoming legal had eaten up about 5 of my passport pages, and I had a total of 0 left. If you think using up all your visa pages sounds ridiculous, in southeast Asia it's really easy. A combination of poorly-placed stamps and unnecessary visas will do the trick pretty quickly. Additional pages used to be free, but alas, no longer. Annoyingly enough, the US consulate only has appointments to add pages on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and as these tend to fill up weeks in advance, this can really put a spanner in the works for a while.

Time commitment: 2 hours
Cost: $82 (2444) :[  

5. Work Permit Paperwork.
- After getting your non-immigrant B visa, you have 90 days to get your work permit paperwork in order, receive your work permit, and then extend your visa. Again, various Thai documents are procured from some official location, and that tends to take a couple weeks. You will also need to go to the hospital and get a syphilis test and be told, in writing, that you're not dying.

Time commitment: About a month of waiting (paperwork); 2 hours (hospital tests)
Cost: Syphilis test (320b)

6. Work Permit.
Paperwork and 1,000 more photos and copies in hand, you need to head to the labour department, get very lost, and eventually submit your paperwork for a work permit. You can pick it up 7 business days later.  

Time commitment: 7 business days
Cost: 3000b

7. Non-immigrant B Visa extension.
- This is where the fun starts: in the Immigration department. Basically, a very very tiny crowded building with lots of queue signs with red numbers that don't seem to correspond to anything. Our first trip, we spent a while wandering around and going inside and out trying to find somewhere to get a number. Eventually we just asked for help at the front desk, but we were told it was too late to be helped (it was 2pm; the place closes at 4pm) and we would have to come back the next day. A week later, we came at 1pm. We should mention that on weekdays we could only go after work and Immigration is closed on weekends, so we were lucky that school had ended early this day. Again too late, but we managed to plead our case and get a quick appointment. Boom! Visa extended to one year!

Time commitment: 2 hours (if we had done it right, 5)
Cost: 1,900b

8. Re-Entry Permit
- When it came time to head to Vietnam, we had to get a re-entry permit so that leaving the country wouldn't void both our precious visa and work permit. Unfortunately, back to the immigration department. This time, we headed there at 9am (it opens at 8am), heeding the warnings that we were too late to be served last time. We were laughed away and told to come earlier the next day. Bewildered, I went home to do some more extensive research on the Thai expat forums, as the Thai immigration site itself is completely unhelpful. Apparently, if you want any hope of being served, you need to arrive between 6 and 7am. Unexpected. The next day, we arrived at 6:30, received a paper number (later determined to be useless), waited until 8 when the doors opened, received a printed paper number, waited for that number to be called and received a plastic number, and then waited until that number was called. Once called, we handed in our forms and more pictures and copies and waited another 2 hours. Finally, we had a stamp in our passports saying we could leave the country and return.

Note: You can get a single re-entry permit, good for one re-entry, or a multiple re-entry permit, good for the entirety of your visa's validity. (1000/3800b). So it's a gamble - if you think you'll leave the country 4 times on your visa, it's worth it. If not...you're stuck doing this process every time you want to leave, but you might pay less. 

Time commitment: In theory, 5 hours.
Cost: 1000b

9. - until you leave the country for reals. 90 day check-ins.
- If you don't want to get deported, you have two choices - either leave the country every 90 days (after getting the appropriate permit), or check in at immigration every 90 days. The timing has been right, so we have yet to need to worry about this. We'll let you know in...50 days. It's going to be fun!

Time commitment: 5 hours/1+ days every 90 days
Cost: None/re-entry permit (1000b) + trip away (at bare minimum, 1000b) = 2,000b

Time span: 6-9 months and then every 90 days
Absolute minimum number of days on which you must miss some work (if you don't make any mistakes), because nothing is open after school hours: 8 days (so in reality, more like 12).
Total cost: 15,299b ($513)

If $513 doesn't seem like a lot of money to pay to stay in Thailand legally for a year, well...in many ways, it isn't. But for some perspective, here's some other things you can get with that money here: a gently used motorbike, 4 months' share of rent and utilities, 382 delicious Thai lunches, 5 laptops, 15 gently used guitars, 100 skirts ideal for teaching.

But wait! I forgot a step!
...
10. Transferring the work permit and visa to a new job.
- I tricked you! This isn't possible. That's right; all this must, essentially, be repeated, despite us having only really finished it a month ago. But here's the catch: before you can begin the process again, the work permit needs to be returned (a trip to the labour department and some forms), and the extension of stay on your visa needs to be cancelled (a trip to the immigration department). It would be difficult to get these done on the same day, owing to the aforementioned limitations of the immigration office. Once the work permit is cancelled, though, you have 24 hours to leave the country. Every day you stay over will cost you 500b. In practice, people tend to ask immigration for an extension period of 7 days (1900b) and then head to Laos as soon as possible, but you need to have all your paperwork ready and waiting.

And so, the adventure begins for us again...luckily, we think we'll be able to hold onto our work permit indefinitely, and wait until October (when we may return home) to get a new visa in America.

If this post was boring, confusing, and made you feel uncomfortable and tired, it should have. While writing it, I reminded myself of about 5 more things I need to do in the coming months to stay legal. We haven't even dipped into what we've had to do for our motorbike, bank accounts, and phone service. Though I'm not that aware of the process in other countries, I can definitely say that this experience has made me far more sympathetic to immigrants and expats in other countries. Red tape is exhausting, and sometimes the whole process just seems aimed at making sure you don't want to stay another year.

Next post to come: more about our amazing new job!

Vietnam: Nha Trang, Dalat, and Ho Chi Minh City

Darn, we're out of the catchy "H's," but luckily the trip itself just keeps getting better and better.

Nha Trang is a beautiful stretch of beach in South-Central Vietnam. While there are a few sites to see here, the town is mostly about the activities you can do in the area and of course, lounging around on the beach. Julia and I did more of the former than the latter since we're terrible at relaxing for relaxing's sake. It was here that we finally took a cooking course, which we've always wanted to do (and actually still want to do in Thailand if we ever find the time or money). We took cyclos, which are like reverse cycle rickshaws and look like wheelchairs with bicycles attached to the back, to the morning market where they taught us how to pick good fruit, vegetables, and meat. Since it was more of an elementary cooking course we mostly worked on basic techniques like selecting ingredients and cutting, but they throw in some fun extras like flambé and trying out cool Vietnamese dishes (we'll get into those gruesome details later). Though we have a local market near us in Thailand, this trip to the market was quite eventful due to its massiveness, its popularity, and the parts that included chopping up meat and de-skinning frogs. I'm going to warn you right now, if you're at all squeamish or feel like you could be disturbed about any animal, be it fish, cow, or frog, being harmed in any way, then you absolutely should NOT read what I'm about to describe. I'm 100% serious. If you're wondering why I would even put this in the blog then, my only answer is the same answer I would use to explain why anything goes in this blog, because I'm sharing my experiences. (You can continue reading after the break). Are you ready? Have I given you enough time to, at the very least, brace yourself? Okay. Well first of all this image accosted us quite suddenly as you turn a corner and there it is, a bucket of live frogs jumping around right next to a woman who is preparing them for selling (if I were to use the world's biggest euphemism). She grabs a frog and swiftly hits its head against a rock and it instantly stops moving. Not just a frog though, she does this with a couple frogs in rapid succession. She then cuts it along the stomach and somehow (I actually wouldn't be able to tell you the specifics here since I myself am watching this through half-glances. Similar to watching a scary movie through the slits of your fingers, but not wanting to be rude, I just did a lot of looking to the left and right while attempting to passively watch the ordeal) she takes the skin off in one quick motion and throws them in another pile. At this point they're still alive, which is probably the most horrifyingly difficult part to watch. I thought at first that maybe they were just contracting their arms and legs as a biological reaction after death, but then Julia saw one hopping. They're actually like this for a minute or so as she does this to a few more frogs. Then, and I'm telling you it just gets harder and harder to watch, she takes scissors and cuts off their heads and legs, just like that (to be completely honest, I'm getting a little shaken as I write this). Of course, the legs still twitch for a good long while after this, even when they're in our pots hours later for cooking, but this part, thankfully, truly is just a biological reaction. I'd say the most interesting part of this is the woman's manner while performing her job. What else can she be but passive and neutral? She has probably been doing this for her entire life. And she probably will pass this on to her kids. And even if this is too much of a presumption, even if she only came into this profession later in life, she has clearly been doing it for some time. Her and everyone around her who has to complete similar tasks look the same as if they're just doing some laundry. You take the clothes, you put them in the washer, then the dryer, then you fold them. You take the live frog, you hit its head on a rock, then cut the skin off, then you cut its head and legs off. I have a video, but maybe I'll save that for sharing my experiences in person. Surprisingly, due to the life experiences I've had up until now, I think I did a fairly good job of remaining detached as well. Yes I was shaken and yes I still get a little frazzled even now, but compared to some other reactions and compared to reactions I'm bound to get from those who haven't been in similar situations, I'd say I can actually understand a bit more of the Asian perspective on animals for sustenance. In America we've been able to distance ourselves as much as possible from the living creature to what ends up on our plate, often completely unaware of what happens miles away in an automatized cattle or pig farm. I might only be speaking for city folks here, but I myself don't often see the animal from beginning to end when using any kind of meat to prepare a meal, but most people here do that every day (this obviously applies more to frogs and fish. They don't just herd pigs and cows in the market, it's not that big.).

The market trip took a few hours and when we got back we got to make spring rolls, a clay pot dish, and as I mentioned, we set stuff on fire for dessert. If we wanted, we could try a Vietnamese delicacy for dessert: balut. A fertilized duck egg with a nearly developed embryo inside, which is boiled and eaten in the shell. Julia and I were actually willing to try this when we were first asked at the market, but they didn't bring it out until we had already finished our three-course meal and they took one completely out of the shell just to show you what it looks like (since you technically eat it by just cracking open the top of the egg and using a spoon). Needless to say we didn't end up eating it. We also got some fun goodies at the end: a cookbook, a wooden spatula, and a grater. To most people I think this was just a fun cherry on top to the cooking class, or even just an inconvenient addition to their luggage, but for us it was actually an incredibly valuable and useful gift since we're lacking in proper cooking supplies at home.

We also got a mud bath here, which they work up to be a sort of spa experience. It involves a short drive to the getaway area in the mountains, a mineral cleansing shower (which is really just a normal shower that you would find on a beach), the mud bath itself, a sun-baking area, and a hot tub to finish off. The mud bath was actually quite fun and though we paid for the cheapest package, which meant we could be in a bath of up to 12 people, we arrived there a couple hours before closing, so we got to do everything for an unlimited amount of time with just the two of us. The mud itself is more silty-water than actual mud, but it feels like taking a bath in a fancy herbal scrub. If you lie down you can float without trying at all, even though the bath is only a few feet deep. We didn't get any pictures since we were worried about bringing the cameras into the area. Even though it was all fake-spa-ie, it was a really fun experience that I would definitely do again.

The next day was our big "booze cruise" with Funky Monkey. Julia did extensive research about this trip to the four islands of Nha Trang and we knew exactly what we were in for for this excursion, unlike some others on the trip. They pick you up in the morning and start off with a trip to the aquarium on the first island. We already knew the aquarium was overpriced and what's worse is that, like many of the zoos and aquariums we've come across in Southeast Asia, they don't take care of their animals the way one would hope. Too many turtles in one tank. Too many species in one tank for that matter. We had planned from the beginning not to pay for the aquarium. The problem with that is since the entire cruise is just a funnel for tourist money, there's literally nothing else to do and nowhere else to go on the island. The only path is from the boat directly to the aquarium. So Jules and I sat for about 45 minutes sneaking the drinks that we brought in our backpack (give us a break, we were on vacation). Let's just say that when everyone else came back out, we were all set to be social and happy. The second island consisted of a snorkeling trip with the gear provided. The reef there was mostly dead so there were really only a handful of fish. Plus if you've been snorkeling in Belize like Julia or in Hawaii like me then this part was especially comical. Of course we knew this already, so we just had fun being in the cool water on a beautiful day. I actually spend a good 20 minutes trying to dive down to get the breathing part that I dropped since it wasn't attached to my mask and another 15 minutes or so imagining a murder mystery-esque story about how the playing cards scattered throughout the bottom of the reef got there. I'm not sure if I'm making it sound boring or fun so I'd like to clarify that both of these activities were actually really fun. It was lunch on the boat after this. But perhaps the highlight of the trip comes from the Funky Monkey band. The chef has a drum set that he's made using pots and pans from the kitchen. It's actually a really creative and almost not terrible sounding drum set. They set up a mic and a guitar and sing the most random English songs they know. They then make every person or group of people come up and sing a song from their country. Due to their limited repertoire, these songs are also songs that, yes everybody knows them, but how did that song get associated with that country when there are literally thousands that are better, perhaps even more widely known. Case in point: Our song for United States was "I Want it That Way" by The Backstreet Boys. After the concert came the floating bar, which was a guy in an inner-tube with handles on the side for us all to hold onto. Lucky thing they were there too because as the waves continuously crashed into us, he would serve us this terrible concoction of what we thought to be dirt-cheap vodka and orange Fanta. Mix that in with a little bit of sea water and you've got yourself the Funky Monkey cocktail. It was hilarious and funny and we all shouted "Yo!" which is apparently the Vietnamese equivalent to "Cheers" or "Salud." We also got to jump off of the roof of the boat and swim around a bit more. The last island was a fairly miserable beachy island that you also had to pay to go on. These Vietnamese man, they have their "let's get the most money out of these suckers" down. Naturally everybody's good and inebriated by this time thanks to that excuse of a drink served in the "floating bar" so it doesn't really matter. As we had read beforehand, if you're looking for a snorkeling adventure, this wasn't it. And if you were hoping for a little more culture, this definitely wasn't it. So unfortunately there were a few unhappy customers in the bunch, but I'd say most of us just laughed along. Plenty of sun was had that day as well so a run to get some Aloe Vera the next day added to my ever increasing medical kit, which now included gauze, medical tape, Panthenol, Neosporin, and Aloe Vera.

Our final day was spent with a few hours lounging on the beach before we were off to Dalat.

We originally were going to go straight from Nha Trang to HCMC but since the bus inconveniently ran from 7 am to 9 pm (rather than being an awesome night bus that would replace the cost of a hotel), we decided to split that trip in half. From the package we could choose to go to Mui Ne, which was described as another beach town but for more of the action/adventure tourist who enjoys water sports, or Dalat, which was described as Vietnam's alter-ego with a French vibe that was an eternal spring because of its pleasant mountain weather. Without a doubt Dalat was the best choice. Ever. We both fell in love with the place. So much so that we would without question live there if we were to live in Vietnam. It's incredibly beautiful with its greenery and flowers and the weather is just perfect. Like April 25th, it's not too hot, not too cold, and all you need is a light jacket. It's also not too big, but not too small. And it's not too overwhelming, but not too boring. It's just the perfect combination in every way.

All right, I wanted to fit all three cities into this entry, but time flew by and since work has started I actually have to go to bed at a decent hour. Hopefully I left you enough to read about before I finish it up!

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Okay here I am two months later ready to finish up my Vietnam trip entry. :)

So a bus ride up the mountain to Dalat brought us to a place where all of the milk in Vietnam seems to be from (although we did not see one cow there). It was a bit difficult to find a place at first since our few Lonely Planet choices were full. Dalat is a relatively small place but all of its streets are winding and extremely confusing, so we got lost multiple times. Eventually we found a place with an owner who looks ALMOST EXACTLY like my mom. She was basically my mom (in stature and looks) but she had rounder eyes. Julia noticed it first and when she pointed it out to me I didn't believe her. But then after that it felt like my mom was showing us the room and taking our passports and telling us about the tour options she has. I wanted to try and sneak a picture but the awkwardness was too much to try to communicate to someone who barely understands English that I wanted a picture of/with her, let alone the reason behind it.

Our first day there, we soaked up the perfect weather with a visit to the market, a walk around the entirety of the absurdly green lake (which was a mistake; the lake definitely looked much smaller than it was and every turn revealed another mile or so and we kept thinking that we were closer to the end than the beginning so we might as well keep going and anyway I looked it up later and the quick walk turned out to be 7 km [or 4.35 miles]), some Vietnamese coffee, and a night out.

There are many chances in Vietnam to get around on an Easy Rider tour, which presumably started out with one dude on a motorcycle trying to convince people that for a certain sum of money, they can hop on the back of his motorbike with all of their belongings and he'll give them the tour of a lifetime. This apparently worked and has become widespread to many parts of Southeast Asia. Vietnam is an easy place because if they catch you in HCMC or Hanoi, they can take you up or down the entire way and suddenly you have your transportation and tour guide set for the rest of your trip. Countries that are less obviously laid out for travel might have a harder time with a set route for travelers. Also, since this form of touring has become so popular there are tons, TONS, of imitation Easy Riders. When the copycats started showing up, the original Easy Riders apparently forked out money for some high-class snazzy blue jackets with the website on the back. But of course, imitators then did the same. It's near impossible to figure out which one is the legitimate original company, but it's not 100% necessary to find the OG Riders, just as long as you still end up with a legitimate company.

For most of the places we visited so far, it was more cost-efficient and made more sense to do our own tours via walking. Though you miss out on a few Wats, temples, and fields of nature, we decided to save our money for things like museums, cooking classes, delicious foods and drinks, and the like. Much of what makes Dalat a fun getaway is what surrounds the city (in Lonely Planet, the 6-page chapter is called "Dalat & Around". To give perspective, the chapter on Hanoi alone is 40 pages.). The main things to do in town are to see the lake, the market, and the "Crazy House," a Disney-like structure that I'll talk about in a bit. So we booked a full day Easy Rider and it was definitely an awesome decision. Our day started with a visit to the Dragon Pagoda, which also had a bit of an amusement park feel with its huge dragon statue looping around the majority of the garden in front.

Blogspot won't let me save this without publishing, so I guess my draft will have to be posted. More to come.