J: Yesterday was very bizarre.
All we knew to expect was contained in the following text message from our boss: "Meet at [our school] at 8am. We want to show you your new school. We will be there a few hours". Knowing to expect nothing but uncertainty and variability from her, we prepared as best we could. By packing a banana. At 8am, of course there was no boss to be found, so we waited around for another 40 minutes until she popped her head in and said "Hello! Come on!" as if she had been there all along and we were the ones who had kept HER waiting. Typical. She lives next door to this branch of the school, so it's always fun to look up at her room and guess what stage of lateness she's currently in (brushing her teeth, plucking her eyebrows, doing yoga?). As we piled into the van (this van is the size of a typical minivan, but somehow seats 12 legitimately. I didn't know those existed!), we realized that we were also being accompanied by her husband, who co-runs the school with her, and her secretary (who looks to be about 18), who after supplying us with correct visa paperwork has earned our affection. Being unable to think of any reason why the two of them would need to come along, we waited patiently in hopes that this would somehow be elucidated. In the car we were given the books we may or may not be able to use, and told to decide before we arrived who would be teaching which grades for the next 6 months. Based on the very limited information we had and my current state of carsickness, that decision probably wasn't the most informed.
Upon arriving at the school, we were ushered into a big sparse room and awkwardly sort of introduced to about 6 people with unpronounceable names. There was lots of wai-ing and head nodding and blank smiles. Some sort of debate/negotiation ensued in Thai, lasting about an hour. Just as our boss was turning to us and starting to say "Oh, they say that..." everyone suddenly stood up and we, bewildered, followed them into another nearby building which appeared to be a house. There, the table was set with assorted tea time foods and fruit baskets. The owners of the school practically hand-fed us enormous kumquats and grapes and bananas until everyone broke out into what seemed like more friendly Thai banter. These situations are always strange, as its anybody's guess as to the social protocol. Are you allowed to completely zone out and pig out on delicious Thai fruits? Should you maintain eye contact as if you too were engaged in the conversation? Should you laugh when everyone else laughs as if you have any idea what's being said? Should you pretend it's normal to be in a psuedo-interview in which no one is speaking your language or asking you any questions or seems to have any interest whatsoever in your capabilities or expectations? Just as we were wondering why we were there and if our presence would ever actually be required, everyone got up again and we stood in a foyer as the owners asked us adorable things like "You are happy?". We somehow communicated that we would like to visit the school across the street, where Ariel will be working, but we were blissfully unaware of the complexities such a journey would entail. It took about ten minutes for all of the women in the party to be properly outfitted with an umbrella for the arduous journey across The Street. Once suitably shaded, we made our way over (it looked exactly like every other Thai school, and we made sure to assure them it was beautiful and magnificent and we were very excited to work there), there was more Thai discussion until it was decided we should meander back. After what seemed like endless wai-ing we returned to the safety of the mini van, delighting in the prospect of being home before noon.
But this was, of course, not the case. After getting back into the van, it became apparent why our boss's husband had come too - Lamphun, the small province south of Chiang Mai where our school is located, is renowned for its cheap furniture shops, and he was beyond elated by the prospect of visiting them all. Before yesterday, we had met this guy several times and instinctively liked him despite never having a lengthy conversation. He balances out our boss in a way that transforms her from an over-ambitious, careless manager to an absent-minded person capable of deep caring. I always like when partners do that to each other - somehow manage to better the other simply by existing and loving them so much, and not taking them so seriously. He's very blunt and witty, and in just a sentence often calms our "OMG this is so absurd why is this happening is this normal?!" mentality by pointing out the reality of the situation. During the umbrella fiasco, he made fun of the girls for not wanting to get tan and then commented "There are too many gay guys in Thailand who use umbrellas and are too girly. Me, I refuse". During tea, when our boss subtly passed him a kumquat to peel, he loudly retorted "Are you kidding?! You eat the skin." The rest of us were then free to make as many fruit-related blunders as we liked. I like that he doesn't take any social situation too seriously, and in doing so breaks up the tension for everyone involved. Anyway, so we spent the next two hours perusing furniture shops on the side of the road. I guess our boss was stoked on how cheap everything was compared to American prices, because she kept converting all the prices to dollars and exclaiming "only 30 dollars! Isn't that cheap? I bet you're thinking of an export company now!" which was bizarre to us because furniture prices is actually something we would never think to translate to dollars. That would be like freaking out because you found out you can remodel your kitchen for $200 in Mexico. It just...has no translatable value because it's not something you can actually transport. I'm not thinking of shipping a 3-piece sofa back home to my mom for Christmas just because it's $10 cheaper here.
After loading up the van with gaudy decorations, we were driven to a restaurant and told to order whatever we wanted. It's nice being in a country where debates over the bill just don't really happen, and are actually considered rude. If you're going out to dinner and you're younger, you don't pay. If you're less wealthy, you don't pay. If you're not the boss, you don't pay. Luckily, in pretty much every situation in Thailand, we won't have to pay. So, in a way we never would in America, we sat back and enjoyed our accidental free lunch. During lunch the assistant (who speaks pretty much zero English) showed us pictures of this pizza place with 20 inch pizzas, and somehow one thing led to another and by 3pm, when we finally arrived home, we had been invited to dinner 4 times.
While our day was happening, we tried to think of some sort of American comparison so you could understand how strange this situation was for us. Here goes: Imagine you live in San Francisco and have had a little tension with your boss before you even start the job - she had promised you a job and accepted all your paperwork only to hire someone else and not even call you. After implying that she has several more positions available for you and has you interview for all of them, she tells you she doesn't have any more work for you in her SF branch, but finds a place for you to work in Oakland because you guilted her into doing so. On the day you think she's taking you to Oakland to see your new place and work out the terms and expectations, she brings along her husband and assistant (who seems more like a daughter). After your meeting in which you say practically nothing, you all unexpectedly head to IKEA. After perusing for a while and trying out some beds with your boss, you wait around while she has some of the ugliest things in the store packaged for her (A: Seriously, she bought this mirror frame, bird wall decoration sculpture something, and a tiny chair and asked our opinion of it. They were the ugliest things I've ever seen. I think I replied by saying, "Well I like it better than that one over there! haha *points at random sculpture of a sun*"). After IKEA, you all head to the Cheesecake Factory, where your boss orders 8 dishes for 4 people and insists you try everything. Then you get a tour of a high school in downtown Oakland, because it turns out that's where your boss's assistant went. And then you get an invitation to Benihana's for dinner four hours later.
A: As we waddled home, inexplicably car sick and desperate for more sleep, we decided to keep the dinner invitation open and respond after naps. Three hours later, I woke up and spent about five minutes composing a text that eventually said, "We're still full from lunch! What time is dinner again? :)" (It took a long time to decide whether to include that smiley face and to be honest I wasn't even sure if she knew what that was as she responded with, "At 7. We meet at [insert school here]. Then we eat at 7:30.") But with my, "We'd love to go!" response, we headed out to have dinner with our boss. To our surprise, this dinner turned out to be with the whole fambam--our boss, her husband, the secretary, her brother, his son and daughter, and even her Bible studies teacher. We barely talked with our boss and instead ended up conversing with her Bible studies teacher and her brother most of the time. But at the end of the meal, she turned to us and with what seemed like a genuine smile said, "I'm glad you came." At this point I realized she had probably decided to take us under her wing. From the very beginning, she's talked about how young we are and how we're the same age as her son who is currently studying in America. And spending a whole day with her and even being invited to dinner with the family? Come on. That's like boyfriend/girlfriend induction into the family status.
I'd also like to insert a random observation in here: The way Thai people ask questions is with the subject first. So instead of saying, "Do you like the school?" they would say "You like the school?" This would be okay except that they don't quite have the correct intonations relating to English punctuation, since all of Thai is tonal. So it ends up sounding like a statement. On top of that, Thai has no tenses. Taught/teach/teaching/etc. is virtually the same word in Thai. You can imagine this leads to many awkward situations or micommunications, like when the owner of the school turned to me and said, "You are happy" and I just nodded and smiled until my boss clarified he meant, "Are you happy/satisfied with our school?" Or even better, when the assistant principal, who was about to talk about all the challenges that come with teaching 3-to 5-year-olds, said to Julia "You teach kindergarten" and with Julia's nod, the lady quickly responded with, "Good then this will be no problem." And it wasn't until a few seconds later that we realized she was asking if Julia had any experience teaching Kindegarteners before as opposed to asking if Julia was the one who will be taking over the Kindergarten class. When I'm typing it out like this, it sounds like something we should be able to easily pick up. But trust me, when you're in the situation and grasping onto any bit of broken English that you might be able to understand and respond to, the whole asking a question by saying a statement thing gets quite befuddling.
J: I'm still confused about how we went from being on tense terms with our boss and grasping at straws for a job at her school to spending the entire day together and being inundated with requests to work at her such and such school or help with his such and such program. I can only hope that they saw some shining bit of promise in us, and not that this entire process has been completely random and spontaneous. Who knows, maybe the next time we see her we won't have a job. Or even worse, no free meals.
All we knew to expect was contained in the following text message from our boss: "Meet at [our school] at 8am. We want to show you your new school. We will be there a few hours". Knowing to expect nothing but uncertainty and variability from her, we prepared as best we could. By packing a banana. At 8am, of course there was no boss to be found, so we waited around for another 40 minutes until she popped her head in and said "Hello! Come on!" as if she had been there all along and we were the ones who had kept HER waiting. Typical. She lives next door to this branch of the school, so it's always fun to look up at her room and guess what stage of lateness she's currently in (brushing her teeth, plucking her eyebrows, doing yoga?). As we piled into the van (this van is the size of a typical minivan, but somehow seats 12 legitimately. I didn't know those existed!), we realized that we were also being accompanied by her husband, who co-runs the school with her, and her secretary (who looks to be about 18), who after supplying us with correct visa paperwork has earned our affection. Being unable to think of any reason why the two of them would need to come along, we waited patiently in hopes that this would somehow be elucidated. In the car we were given the books we may or may not be able to use, and told to decide before we arrived who would be teaching which grades for the next 6 months. Based on the very limited information we had and my current state of carsickness, that decision probably wasn't the most informed.
Upon arriving at the school, we were ushered into a big sparse room and awkwardly sort of introduced to about 6 people with unpronounceable names. There was lots of wai-ing and head nodding and blank smiles. Some sort of debate/negotiation ensued in Thai, lasting about an hour. Just as our boss was turning to us and starting to say "Oh, they say that..." everyone suddenly stood up and we, bewildered, followed them into another nearby building which appeared to be a house. There, the table was set with assorted tea time foods and fruit baskets. The owners of the school practically hand-fed us enormous kumquats and grapes and bananas until everyone broke out into what seemed like more friendly Thai banter. These situations are always strange, as its anybody's guess as to the social protocol. Are you allowed to completely zone out and pig out on delicious Thai fruits? Should you maintain eye contact as if you too were engaged in the conversation? Should you laugh when everyone else laughs as if you have any idea what's being said? Should you pretend it's normal to be in a psuedo-interview in which no one is speaking your language or asking you any questions or seems to have any interest whatsoever in your capabilities or expectations? Just as we were wondering why we were there and if our presence would ever actually be required, everyone got up again and we stood in a foyer as the owners asked us adorable things like "You are happy?". We somehow communicated that we would like to visit the school across the street, where Ariel will be working, but we were blissfully unaware of the complexities such a journey would entail. It took about ten minutes for all of the women in the party to be properly outfitted with an umbrella for the arduous journey across The Street. Once suitably shaded, we made our way over (it looked exactly like every other Thai school, and we made sure to assure them it was beautiful and magnificent and we were very excited to work there), there was more Thai discussion until it was decided we should meander back. After what seemed like endless wai-ing we returned to the safety of the mini van, delighting in the prospect of being home before noon.
But this was, of course, not the case. After getting back into the van, it became apparent why our boss's husband had come too - Lamphun, the small province south of Chiang Mai where our school is located, is renowned for its cheap furniture shops, and he was beyond elated by the prospect of visiting them all. Before yesterday, we had met this guy several times and instinctively liked him despite never having a lengthy conversation. He balances out our boss in a way that transforms her from an over-ambitious, careless manager to an absent-minded person capable of deep caring. I always like when partners do that to each other - somehow manage to better the other simply by existing and loving them so much, and not taking them so seriously. He's very blunt and witty, and in just a sentence often calms our "OMG this is so absurd why is this happening is this normal?!" mentality by pointing out the reality of the situation. During the umbrella fiasco, he made fun of the girls for not wanting to get tan and then commented "There are too many gay guys in Thailand who use umbrellas and are too girly. Me, I refuse". During tea, when our boss subtly passed him a kumquat to peel, he loudly retorted "Are you kidding?! You eat the skin." The rest of us were then free to make as many fruit-related blunders as we liked. I like that he doesn't take any social situation too seriously, and in doing so breaks up the tension for everyone involved. Anyway, so we spent the next two hours perusing furniture shops on the side of the road. I guess our boss was stoked on how cheap everything was compared to American prices, because she kept converting all the prices to dollars and exclaiming "only 30 dollars! Isn't that cheap? I bet you're thinking of an export company now!" which was bizarre to us because furniture prices is actually something we would never think to translate to dollars. That would be like freaking out because you found out you can remodel your kitchen for $200 in Mexico. It just...has no translatable value because it's not something you can actually transport. I'm not thinking of shipping a 3-piece sofa back home to my mom for Christmas just because it's $10 cheaper here.
After loading up the van with gaudy decorations, we were driven to a restaurant and told to order whatever we wanted. It's nice being in a country where debates over the bill just don't really happen, and are actually considered rude. If you're going out to dinner and you're younger, you don't pay. If you're less wealthy, you don't pay. If you're not the boss, you don't pay. Luckily, in pretty much every situation in Thailand, we won't have to pay. So, in a way we never would in America, we sat back and enjoyed our accidental free lunch. During lunch the assistant (who speaks pretty much zero English) showed us pictures of this pizza place with 20 inch pizzas, and somehow one thing led to another and by 3pm, when we finally arrived home, we had been invited to dinner 4 times.
While our day was happening, we tried to think of some sort of American comparison so you could understand how strange this situation was for us. Here goes: Imagine you live in San Francisco and have had a little tension with your boss before you even start the job - she had promised you a job and accepted all your paperwork only to hire someone else and not even call you. After implying that she has several more positions available for you and has you interview for all of them, she tells you she doesn't have any more work for you in her SF branch, but finds a place for you to work in Oakland because you guilted her into doing so. On the day you think she's taking you to Oakland to see your new place and work out the terms and expectations, she brings along her husband and assistant (who seems more like a daughter). After your meeting in which you say practically nothing, you all unexpectedly head to IKEA. After perusing for a while and trying out some beds with your boss, you wait around while she has some of the ugliest things in the store packaged for her (A: Seriously, she bought this mirror frame, bird wall decoration sculpture something, and a tiny chair and asked our opinion of it. They were the ugliest things I've ever seen. I think I replied by saying, "Well I like it better than that one over there! haha *points at random sculpture of a sun*"). After IKEA, you all head to the Cheesecake Factory, where your boss orders 8 dishes for 4 people and insists you try everything. Then you get a tour of a high school in downtown Oakland, because it turns out that's where your boss's assistant went. And then you get an invitation to Benihana's for dinner four hours later.
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| A: Julia with our boss trying out a race car bed (complete with speakers and massage chairs on each side). I think our boss was seriously considering buying it at one point. This is our life. And--as always--Julia's face says it all. |
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| A: Managed to catch a quick photo of Jules with one of our provided parasols as we walked about 200 meters from one school to the other. Tan is bad. |
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| This is how far the school is from our apartment. Dayum, son. |
I'd also like to insert a random observation in here: The way Thai people ask questions is with the subject first. So instead of saying, "Do you like the school?" they would say "You like the school?" This would be okay except that they don't quite have the correct intonations relating to English punctuation, since all of Thai is tonal. So it ends up sounding like a statement. On top of that, Thai has no tenses. Taught/teach/teaching/etc. is virtually the same word in Thai. You can imagine this leads to many awkward situations or micommunications, like when the owner of the school turned to me and said, "You are happy" and I just nodded and smiled until my boss clarified he meant, "Are you happy/satisfied with our school?" Or even better, when the assistant principal, who was about to talk about all the challenges that come with teaching 3-to 5-year-olds, said to Julia "You teach kindergarten" and with Julia's nod, the lady quickly responded with, "Good then this will be no problem." And it wasn't until a few seconds later that we realized she was asking if Julia had any experience teaching Kindegarteners before as opposed to asking if Julia was the one who will be taking over the Kindergarten class. When I'm typing it out like this, it sounds like something we should be able to easily pick up. But trust me, when you're in the situation and grasping onto any bit of broken English that you might be able to understand and respond to, the whole asking a question by saying a statement thing gets quite befuddling.
J: I'm still confused about how we went from being on tense terms with our boss and grasping at straws for a job at her school to spending the entire day together and being inundated with requests to work at her such and such school or help with his such and such program. I can only hope that they saw some shining bit of promise in us, and not that this entire process has been completely random and spontaneous. Who knows, maybe the next time we see her we won't have a job. Or even worse, no free meals.
Another great chapter! And don't worry, you already have a good grasp of language issues and as you learn more Thai, somethings will get clearer and some even more convoluted! I guess if we ever got there, we'd have to pay for food all the time, being so old and relatively well off...
ReplyDelete40 minute commute?!
ReplyDelete-sammers
Question, does wealth trump youth or the other way around? What if you are younger but wealthier?
ReplyDeleteI want to know the answer to that question too! And I'm with Sam about the commute! :/ Also dude what this whole story is crazy. I am so frustrated at and intrigued by and confused by your boss.
ReplyDelete... Mostly confused. But excited to see how things unfold!
Waaa~~~ I want to meet the husband! Seems like a great fellow hahaha. Wow! 40min commute by car?!?!?! My work is about a 25-30min walk from my apartment. Please keep in mind that my apartment community is retardedly huge - and a maze - I live at the highest floor (32) with the slowest elevator... all of which takes me 8-10min just to get out of my community @__@ I still think you should get the race car bed and 2 hammocks, so when I visit I can drive... wait what?
ReplyDelete